Are you carrying emotions that aren't even yours?

You may not even realise you’re carrying it. But you feel it.

The tightness before your colleague’s meeting. The heaviness after talking to a friend who’s constantly overthinking. The tension in your body when things feel unsettled at home.

Nothing happened to you but suddenly, you feel drained, anxious or overwhelmed. That’s because you absorbed something that wasn’t yours to hold.

The Hidden Weight of Emotional Absorption

In my work as a life coach, I see this pattern often - especially among people who are empathetic, high-achieving or deeply caring. These are the people others lean on. The listeners. The problem-solvers. The ones who “handle things.”

Over time, the line between supporting others and carrying their emotional load becomes blurry. You don’t just listen, you internalise. You don’t just care, you absorb.

And without realising it, your nervous system starts responding to stress that doesn’t belong to you.

Why Empathetic People Feel This More

Empathy is a strength but when it’s uncontained, it can become exhausting.

Highly empathetic people often:

• Feel responsible for others’ emotions

• Struggle to separate their feelings from someone else’s

• Mistake emotional closeness for emotional responsibility

• Ignore their own needs while holding space for everyone else

The result? Emotional fatigue that feels confusing because nothing in your own life seems wrong.

How to Start Letting Go of What Isn’t Yours

This isn’t about becoming detached or uncaring. It’s about learning how to stay connected without self-abandonment.

Here are a few gentle practices I often share with clients and have had to learn myself.

1. Notice Before You Absorb

Pause and ask yourself:“Is this mine to fix… or just mine to witness?” Not everything you feel needs a response. Sometimes awareness alone creates enough distance to prevent emotional overload.

2. Ground Yourself Back Into Your Body

When emotions aren’t yours, they often sit in the body.

Simple grounding can help:

• A few slow, intentional breaths

• Stepping outside for fresh air

• Writing down what you’re feeling and naming what’s yours vs. what’s not

  
  

This helps your nervous system release energy it picked up unintentionally.

3. Protect Your Peace Without Guilt

You can care deeply without carrying everything. Setting emotional boundaries doesn’t make you cold. It makes your care sustainable. One of the hardest lessons I had to learn was this: Helping others doesn’t require abandoning yourself.

If you often end your day feeling drained, heavy or emotionally tired - ask yourself this: Am I exhausted from my life… or from carrying everyone else’s emotions too?

Awareness is the first step toward relief. You’re allowed to be compassionate and protected. Empathetic and grounded. Present without being depleted. And when you learn to separate what’s yours from what isn’t, something shifts - you start showing up with more clarity, energy and peace.